You can heal from Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse can manifest in various ways, including using children against you, changing narratives, isolating you, and gaslighting. Recognizing these patterns and setting boundaries is crucial for healing and living a healthy life.

Some forms of Narcissistic Abuse

*They can be very charismatic around others, but when they feel threatened or you do not comply with what they want that will change swiftly.

*Using your children against you. Buying them toys, things that they want, trips, etc. Pointing out any faults that they think you have to the children over and over again to purposely hurt and undermine your relationship with them.

*Changing the narrative to fit their needs and make themselves look good among family and others. “You are the problem, they could not possibly be at fault”

*Isolating you from others except those that they approve of, their friends or family.

*Not meeting your needs. For Example you take care and help them through medical issues but as soon as you become ill, they don’t have time, or don’t put in any effort.

*Gaslighting. Causing you to second guess yourself.

*Abuse. Oftentimes it may not be physical as they are well aware that  they do not need to do that to harm you. Also there would be less evidence to implicate them

*Love bombing at the beginning of the relationship trying to influence you in their favor and reel you in.

*If they see that you are questioning their behaviors they may switch things up and start treating you better, bread crumbing you to got you back to complacency.

Some things to remember:

In family systems with Narcissists there are usually more than one and they and other family members will continue the narrative as long as it continues the lifestyle and patterns that they feel comfortable with. Ex. Well, so and so is always like that and they laugh it off. Especially if it is at no expense to themselves.

And often times others are afraid to do anything about it.

Remember doing nothing is doing something. If you are no longer in a relationship with a Narcissist and others form their opinion of you based on what they were told solely and treat you poorly or drop out of your life suddenly, that tells you a lot about them. Ask yourself do you want to continue unhealthy relationships that have not supported you?

You can continue being you. However, you will need to add increased boundaries so you are less likely to form anymore relationships with these type of people. This includes increasing self esteem and self worth. This may take time especially if this has been an issue since childhood and your relationships with adults caused you to pain and suffering that increased the likelihood of lack of self worth.

Narcissists are attracted to those that they can control, to those that are more sensitive, have a history of being abused. As soon as you start saying no to them and “not complying” expect things to fall apart. It may be difficult at first but this is for your benefit.

You Can Choose To Live Your Best Life

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